Ten Years of Lessons (in Less Than 500 Words)
It’s been ten years since Mom died.
A little over ten years ago, I sat down to write her eulogy, which (as Mom was a long-time teacher) appropriately discussed all the things she taught me in the twenty-two years I was given with her.
And as this first decade passes, it hits me that I have lived another half of that short portion of time. A brutal realization that, when ruminated upon, has the potential to really do a number on my spirit. But, Mom was never one to ruminate. She liked to think of each experience as a chance to learn. So, in the spirit of her courage, thirst for knowledge, and decade-old eulogy, I share with you the lessons I’ve learned in her absence, albeit not without her influence.
Life rarely ends up resembling the vision we’ve created for ourselves, but what do we really know in the grand scheme of things?
You should never fear being yourself. A bigger fear should always be inauthenticity.
Above all, to achieve your dreams you must be tenacious. Statistically speaking, things are bound to work out if you keep at them.
Although dreams should be pursued, it’s often the things you don’t think you need that end up being the most conducive to growth.
Success in life should not be measured by financial freedom, or other societal parameters. It should be measured by your ability to find value in your journey, especially when it seems inherently lost.
The grass often looks greener on the other side, but much of the time that’s just a trick of the light. In reality it’s greenest where it’s tended to best, so take care.
Sometimes the hardest conversations you can have, or the toughest actions you can take, are the only ones that’ll make anything better.
Live in the moment as much as you possibly can. Our time is simply a long series of moments woven together. If you wait until its finished to admire its intricacies, you’ll miss out on the process and much of the details.
No matter how alone you may feel, the fact is you’re not (you know, statistics and all). Someone out there understands and will appreciate knowing that they’re not alone either.
Life will never be without loss or pain, but that should not keep you from living. In fact, heartache is what allows us to see just how sweet the good times are.
A child’s appreciation and love for their parent knows no boundaries, even after death. And, if we work to keep our loved one’s legacies alive, there’s no way for their absence to be resolute either.
I love you more today than I ever have before, Mom. Hope you’re taking good care of Mike, and the other newer arrivals. <3
Auntie SamSeptember 25, 2017 at 2:38 pm
I love you! Very true words
Liz PetroneSeptember 25, 2017 at 6:21 pm
Amy, your mother was beautiful and I see you in her. I know today is a bittersweet day. Thinking of you, friend.
Nancy LordSeptember 26, 2017 at 10:28 am
Loving hugs to you Amy.
A.B. CheslerSeptember 26, 2017 at 12:07 pm
Thank you! And the same to you, always, Nancy.
Dale Robin-GrossSeptember 26, 2017 at 8:15 pm
She would be so so proud of you.
gwendolyn maddySeptember 27, 2017 at 5:56 am
not much to go on about what happened to her or husband or other children. i lost my entire birth family within five years, and both parents within months of one another, as well as my house burned down, too. and my home loan was paid off by my fire insurance rebuild money. then i lost my health but had a near shave, 97% blocked right coronary artery. been lucky enough to nearly finish rebuilding it, and it’s at least all paid for. so there are some blessings. we never forget our loved ones, nor do they us. they enjoy eternal life with relatives who have gone before, and can communicate with us, and we with them, anytime. it’s comforting, that. in the meantime, there’s plenty to enjoy every day we have. i like my life. it’s stress free and that’s a real blessing. my kids turned out well and are having adventures right now. they had cancer scares, but neither of them has cancer at this time. it turned out to be non life threatening. we all have sometning to deal with. it’s not what the challenge is so much as the way we deal with it.
A.B. CheslerSeptember 27, 2017 at 5:56 am
Thank you so much, Dale ?
A.B. CheslerSeptember 27, 2017 at 6:03 am
My heart aches listening to all you’ve had to go through, but you absolutely have the right attitude. We all go through a lot. But life is less about what happens to you, and more about how you handle it all. Thank you for reading and for sharing your story. Much love to you ?
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