Trash Bags from Heaven

Not a single day goes by that I don’t miss my mom. I wish that she had had the chance to meet my daughter. But that’s impossible, because she died five and a half years before she was born. Those five and a half years were full of both despair and happiness, but all of it was tainted by Mom’s absence.

Some days, a piece of me is still sad. Even though I am overflowing with joy, I often turn to my husband and say that I wish Mom was able to share in her granddaughter’s growth. My heart is forever cracked. I can’t help it. I miss having my best friend present.

Other days, like today, that sad, little piece of me is surprised with a visit. Not by apparitions, but by trash bags. Let me explain: my lovingly neurotic Jewish mother shopped at Costco for everything. Our house was always stocked full of copious amounts of well… anything you could imagine.  Jelly beans, zip ties, you name it, we had it. And so, the 800-count box of trash bags my mom purchased not long before her death still persists. For some reason, unbeknownst to me, I kept them for these six plus years even though they didn’t fit any of my trash cans. And finally, when we purchased our diaper pail that is compatible with any bag of our choosing, I was thrilled to discover their purpose.

Now, as I change my daughter’s diaper pail bag, I can’t help but smile (despite the awful stench) because my mother’s thoughtfulness and ever preparedness persists, too. In turn, I am reminded that her unending love will also continue through eternity. Thus, I know she is still present, and each day I love her even more.


  1. Samantha

    March 12, 2014 at 12:54 am

    I love you tagged this at poop lol

  2. A.B. Chesler

    March 12, 2014 at 6:42 am

    Hahaha… Had to! Anything poop related in the least bit gets tagged as such.

  3. apharmlady

    March 12, 2014 at 8:45 am

    I love this…because I too am always over-prepared. With dad I had a ton of anti-bacterial wipes, Lysol anti-bacterial spray, toilet paper, band-aids, and food, among other things. When I moved in to take care of him the kitchen cabinets were practically empty because his social interaction was going to the grocery store every day. When I started stocking up and cooking he really had a hard time with it – but he couldn’t drive anymore and my schedule didn’t allow daily trips to Stater Bros. And, if we had an earthquake or some kind of disaster, I had this house prepared – because that’s what Moms do! Save those trash bags sweetie – put some in your car – they are great for barf bags when kids get sick….and for holding dirty diapers on road trips until you can find a trash can 😉 <3 you !!!

  4. A.B. Chesler

    March 12, 2014 at 4:18 pm

    Thank you so much for reading! I love your insight and knowing that we’ve been through similar things. My mom would have loved you, just as she loved Ashley. You’re the best! Thanks again for your unending support. You’re the ultimate Mama!!!

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